Friday, April 10, 2015

"They" Are Out to Get You(r Money)

April 10, 2015
More Americans drink coffee daily than invest in stocks

Young people have the most to gain by investing in stocks since research shows that they the market is likely to rise a lot in the decades before they retire.

They thought they could sneak an extra "they" into that sentence without anyone noticing, but they were wrong.

As for the research that shows the market will be rising a lot before they retire, one wonders if it involves astrology. Predicting the distant future can be very difficult without it.

Speaking of astrology, rumor has it that the Fed will raise interest rates when the stars align. I take that to mean that Tom Cruise must quit the Church of Scientology first, to join Katie Holmes and Nicole Kidman. I'm no Jean Dixon, so I shall pass on vaguely trying to time that.

Financial advice and astrology, baby. That's what I'm talking about.


Anonymous said...

I wonder how many more American's drink coffee than "invest" in stocks?

Stagflationary Mark said...


By my math (using statistics in this link combined with adult population estimates found elsewhere), about 32 million more American adults drink daily coffee than "invest" in the stock market.

Not too shocking considering that there are 46 million people on food stamps (including children). Sigh.

Luke The Debtor said...

Banks are pros at getting your money. In fact, they pay you up front in order to do it.

Stagflationary Mark said...

Luke the Debtor,

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This is good news for you, because instead of just offering standard perks like no fees, free checking, or a free pen when you sign up for an account, some banks are raising the stakes with cold hard cash, giveaways, and great interest-bearing products.

Free pen or (bank) bust! ;)