Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Zero Things You Can Do Now to Guarantee Your Future Standard of Living

Since many of the most popular financial "news" articles these days involve lists of things we can or should do, I thought I'd give it a shot.


This list intentionally left blank.

The optimists will see that nothing needs to be done. Future prosperity is a sure thing no matter what we do!

The pessimists will see that nothing can be done. Future prosperity is an impossible task.

Perfect! My empty list has something for everyone!

I'm not done yet though. I'll need to throw some advertising in to be considered a respected journalist.

Not a problem. Here's an ad from 1971.

Good times.


Mr Slippery said...

Finally, a list I can complete. Feeling good about myself after checking off that zeroth item.

I'm not the first to realize that zeroth can be important, as in thermodynamics, but the third time is the charm for second hand news.

Rob Dawg said...

Now we ruined it with more than zero comments. at least their content is still empty. ;)

Stagflationary Mark said...

Mr Slippery,

How long did it take you to check all these things off? I just think there might be others looking to compete with you.

Would you say you were going zero things per hour or more like zero things per second? The latter is clearly pretty darned fast by non-math comparison! ;)

Stagflationary Mark said...

Rob Dawg,

Zero things divided by zero comments must equal one just like ten things divided by ten comments must equal one. Common knowledge!

Zero things divided by zero comments must equsl zero just like zero things divided by any number of comments more than one must equal zero. Common knowledge!

You have done a great service here by helping to eliminate some common knowledge confusion!

Zero things divided by four comments definitely equals zero. No common knowledge needed! ;)

Stagflationary Mark said...

"more than one" should be "more than zero"

Anonymous said...

Those Merrill Lynch boys sure were smart back then.

I bet they saw that 8% debt growth graph (the one you publish a few days ago) and said: "Boyz, this is one parabola we can bet the ranch on" (Gotta say that in your best John Wayne voice). "I say we ride this parabola until the cows come home". (That's what this is a video of really, cows coming home).

I reckon they was right.


Cue: Raw hide music...

Stagflationary Mark said...


This is the bill that will convert the state hospital for the insane into the William J. Le Petomane memorial gambling casino for the insane. - Hedley Lamarr, Blazing Saddles (1974)

Troy said...

This wasn't the zeitgeist 30 years ago when I started college, but back then all-in tuition was $1300/yr, now it's 30X that.

Full-time employment rose 40% 1985-2007 while age 15-24 only rose 10% (and actually fell 10% in the 1990s)

Since the 2000 recession, jobs are up 5% and 15-24 is up 10% . . .

Stagflationary Mark said...


US Birth Rates Continue To Plummet: Nearly Half Of All American Women Do Not Have A Child

Things get interesting when that wave hits.