Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Markets Hammered (Musical Tribute)



You can't sell this
You can't sell this
You can't sell this
You can't sell this
You can't sell this

My, my, my, my...

Housing hit us so hard
Makes me scream, "OMG!"
Thank you for shopping sprees
But a margin call and it repeats
It feels good? When your stocks are down?
A super bargain buy that turned facedown
And they ring the bell
Has bulls feelin' heat, but you can't sell

I sold your home boy (You can't sell this)
Yeah, that's where you're living and you know (You can't sell this)
Look at the buys, man (You can't sell this)
Yo, let me bust the f'd up housing (You can't sell this)

Fresh new cash, advance
You gotta like that, now you can refinance
So buy, before banks cheat
And lease pickups, don't be downbeat
While it's rolling, back up truck
Pump stocks a bit and sell them no, it's going up
Buy this, buy that
Sold in a heartbeat as they fall back
Sell them now, all is not well
And you're feeling beat, but you can't sell

Yo, I sold it (You can't sell this)
What you holding bagman? (You can't sell this)
Yo, rang the bell, market's not in, sucka (You can't sell this)

Banks sell debt, logarithms
But they sweat, as they are caving in now
Banks sold
You talking about hammered you just lookin' to borrow
That's hype, go light
Bankers are sweating so pass them a wipe
Check the tape, to learn
What's cash gonna take in the 70's to burn
The charts? Legit
You can't sell hard but you also can't quit

Absurd, because you're told...

You can't sell this
You can't sell this

Breaking now!
Stocks, hammer time!

Stocks in a funk, it is said
That if you can't prove earnings then you probably are dead
The Fed drop's cash from the air
Bust a few banks, fund investors in despair
This is "it", no more dinner
With no job and you're gonna get thinner
Quick, time to dump
Just for a minute let's all be like Donald Trump

Yeah (You can't sell this)
Took, man (You can't sell this)
You listened to hype, boy, before you sold (You can't sell this)
Rang the bell, market's back in (You can't sell this)

Breaking now!
Stocks, hammer time!

You can't sell this
You can't sell this
You can't sell this

Breaking now!
Stocks, hammer time!

Every time you buy them
They're hammered after hyped
Going to the floor if interest rates are hiked
Now why would they ever, pretend all is well
Banks are taking homes that really just won't sell
They're clogged around the world, from London to the Bay
It's hammered, got hammered, really hammered, yeah hammered
And the stocks were sold today

You can't sell this
You can't sell this
You can't sell this
You can't sell this
You can't sell this
You can't sell this
You can't sell this
You can't sell this

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh Mark didn't you get the memo from BB today, immediate pain but the future is bright, someday housing will climb, someday the market will be strong, jobs will be high paying and actually located here in America; just wait and trust the FED, we are here for you!

Stagflationary Mark said...

Anonymous,

Oh Mark didn't you get the memo from BB today, immediate pain but the future is bright...

I'm a laughing on the outside but crying on the inside type clown, lol.

I sometimes get my BBs a bit confused.

BB (gun)... useful for creating jobs in the window replacement industry. Prosperity baby.

BB (Ben Bernanke)... useful for setting interest rates to unsustainably low levels for creating jobs in the window replacement industry.

BBB (Better Business Bureau)... useful for detecting unsustainable jobs in the window replacement industry.

BBB (Bed, Bath, and Beyond)... useful for creating jobs in the window dressing replacement industry... not to be confused with Linens 'N Things.

UPDATE 1-Linens 'n Things store closings to begin Friday
http://www.reuters.com/article/governmentFilingsNews/idUSN1535213520081015

The stores are expected to be completely closed in less than 11 weeks, by Jan. 1 at the latest.

For those keeping track at home, that's 11 full weeks of pure deflationary goodness.

What makes this especially confusing is that BBB sells window dressing but BB helps sell financial window dressing.

Merrill Lynch behind 'window-dressing' trades
http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,24477146-20142,00.html

The incident comes just months after the ASX warned stockbrokers against a type of market manipulation known as "window dressing", which is the practice of placing orders at the end of a reporting period, particularly by fund managers, to elevate or suppress a company's stock price and, as a result, a fund manager's investment portfolio.

Make that pig look good. Use plenty of lipstick. It's the (lack of) transparency of lipstick that makes it so great.

Anonymous said...

Hey, great song parody. Easily the best one since "Panic Monday". FWIW, "Panic Monday" is the better of the two -- like Olympic diving, the difficulty factor for an M.C. Hammer parody tune is too low to take the gold, even when done flawlessly.

:-)

Stagflationary Mark said...

AllanF,

...like Olympic diving, the difficulty factor for an M.C. Hammer parody tune is too low to take the gold, even when done flawlessly.

Picture this. I'm sitting alone in my office right now. I read your comments.

I chuckled out loud and I'm now stuck with this goofy grin on my face. Seriously, lol.

Blogging is great therapy. No doubt about it.