Tuesday, May 11, 2010

It's Your Fault

If You're Losing Money in the Stock Market, It's Your Fault

Did you not know that the housing market just collapsed? Did you forget Enron and Worldcom? Or the bursting of the tech bubble? The Asian financial crisis? September 11, 2001? The saving and loan crisis? The 1970s oil shock? The Great Depression? In other words, how could anyone with access to electricity and running water get to this point in time without realizing that we live in a crazy world where a lot of bad stuff happens? It's tempting to simply traffic in common sense here, so I will. It's what a lot of people need to hear. Investing in stocks entails a lot of risk. It's no different from gambling, riding motorcycles, or bungee jumping, all of which can be characterized as activities that are very exciting, but turn disastrous quickly when one little thing goes wrong.

Fantastic article. Well worth the read.


EconomicDisconnect said...

Well GS and JPM managed perfecto trading quarters so how hard can it be really?

Stagflationary Mark said...


There's nothing tricky to making money. It's a lot easier than it looks.

If you realize that you will lose money competing head to head with Goldman Sachs then you can simply bet on your own demise.

The worse you do, the better you do. It all balances out.

Now all you need to do is add serious leverage.

If you use leverage to bet on your own demise then you can actually make serious money. If you make serious money, then you were wrong to bet on your own demise though. That means you really lost serious money.

However, since you lost serious money then you really did make serious money betting on your own demise, thanks to the leverage. The more you lost, the more you made, which means you'll lose more and then make more, while simultaneously losing more and making more.

It's all so simple really. Hahaha!

Of course, Goldman Sachs is there for you every step of the way making money as you lose money and as you make money. That's probably why investors love Goldman Sachs so much.

Dizzying intellect!

EconomicDisconnect said...

Well I can double my money easy; takle it out and fold it in half. There, problem solved. This stuff is easy.

mab said...


Dizzying intellect?

I saw your one hand in that post with your parrot. Now I'm wondering, you wouldn't happen to have six fingers on your other hand?

Stagflationary Mark said...



Now you just need to use 20-1 leverage!

Money folding

Stagflationary Mark said...


Now I'm wondering, you wouldn't happen to have six fingers on your other hand?


Presently I'm writing the definitive work on the subject, so I want you to be totally honest with me on how the economy makes you feel. This being our first try, I'll use the lowest setting.

As you know, the concept of the suction pump is centuries old. Really that's all this is except that instead of sucking water, I'm sucking money. I've just sucked one year of your life savings away. I might one day go as high as five, but I really don't know what that would do to you. So, let's just start with what we have. What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity so be honest. How do you feel?