Sunday, June 20, 2010

The Sarcasm Report v.52

I present this small offering to the Sarcasm Gods.

Offering to the Gods

In many Pagan and Wiccan traditions, it's not uncommon to make some sort of offering or sacrifice to the gods. Bear in mind that despite the reciprocal nature of our relationship with the divine, it's not a matter of "I'm offering you this stuff so you'll grant my wish." It's more along the lines of "I honor you and respect you, so I'm giving you this stuff to show you how much I appreciate your intervention on my behalf."

I do honor and respect the sarcasm gods. I expect nothing in return. Why should I? The gifts they have already given us just keep on giving.

I think that people don't think of Lenny as sophisticated, but I am telling you Bernie, that not only is he sophisticated but he's one of the great ones in this business. He's one of the great ones. - Jim Cramer

If I didn't know any better, I would tell you that everything you hear from Lenny is an act, because there is just no way that you would ever feel like he's as smart as he really is. - Jim Cramer

April 23, 2009
The Myth Of Lenny Dykstra Completely Unravels

ESPN's Mike Fish punctures the final holes into Lenny Dykstra's supposed financial genius with swift, purposeful blows.

June 11, 2010
The 10 Most Broke Former Superstars: Where Does Eddy Curry Rank

Dykstra is now supposedly living out of his car, in his old offices and hotel lobbies.

Where does Lenny Dykstra rank? #1! Woohoo!

Hindsight will show that Jim Cramer was one of the great ones someday. Most simply did not understand that he was a true master of sarcasm. I am humbled by his presence. Is it a coincidence that Jim Cramer thought Lenny Dykstra was one of the top 5 in the world? I say no! That's a billion to 1!

February 29, 2000
Winners of the New World

You want winners? You want me to put my Cramer Berkowitz hedge fund hat on and just discuss what my fund is buying today to try to make money tomorrow and the next day and the next? You want my top 10 stocks for who is going to make it in the New World? You know what? I am going to give them to you. Right here. Right now.

Note that the winners of the new world were actually epic losers. That can't be a coincidence. Would someone who made picks that poorly really have their own TV show right now? It only makes sense if what he wrote was pure sarcastic genius!

May 4, 2010

Sarcasm FAIL

Given the new consumer optimism, good luck to anyone who wants to short this sector.

We believed the the sarcasm actually failed, but did it? What if the sarcasm was so deeply layered that mere mortals could not possibly comprehend all its subtleties? In other words, what if the sarcasm was itself sarcastic? Genius!


Anonymous said...

Probably no long-term trend here, but thought it might be interesting to you

Global Grain Surplus Sows Trouble

-jus me

Stagflationary Mark said...

jus me,

I found that very interesting. It explains why my spaghetti hoard is deflating. I'm not complaining though!

I grew up in wheat country (Eastern Washington State). The picture sure brings back memories. The land wasn't that flat though. We had rolling hills instead. Sometimes I'd just sit in the backyard and watch the combines harvest in the distance. It was a sight to behold.

GawainsGhost said...

I love sarcasm, but I prefer realism.

mab said...

That Cramer clip is a classic. Lenny Dykstra - what a sham that was.

Our debt money system breeds ignorance - Krugman is proof. It has to be by design. Exploiting ignorance is a veritable gold mine.

Productive endeavors take a back seat to financial idiocy and fraud in our eCONomy. Unbelievable.

Stagflationary Mark said...


From your link...

This little joke, a favorite among economists, tells us... useless most economists are!

Stagflationary Mark said...


Math time!!

July 8, 2009
Dykstra files for Chapter 11

Walter Hackett, a lawyer for Dykstra, said the event triggering the bankruptcy filing was a planned foreclosure sale of a southern California residence that Dykstra bought from hockey legend Wayne Gretzky for $17.5 million in 2007.

That's a lot more exciting than claiming the triggering event was that last soda bought at a local convenience store. There's almost no drama in that.

How does one explain going from a "net worth at $60 million" to "$50,000 of assets and between $10 million and $50 million of liabilities"?

Dykstra math! Genius!

Stagflationary Mark said...

Based on the currency hype on TV as I was heading off to bed this morning (last night), I half expected the S&P 500 to cross the 1200 rubicon again today.

The other half laughed while reading Mish though.

AllanF said...

Um, you keep calling 1200 a rubicon. Um, is that more sarcasm, because, like, it has been anything BUT a rubicon. Perhaps our Sinai?

I mean no offense. Some words get so misused and abused that people who try to pick them up in context are left with the wrong idea of what the word means. Then they begin using it wrongly themselves, and the incorrect usage spreads like a virus.

Stagflationary Mark said...


Yes, it is definitely more sarcasm. As you know, the Rubicon was the point of no return. We have crossed 1200 MANY times though, lol.

For what it is worth, I'm not really going to concern myself much with people who use Rubicon without actually knowing that it means though.

AllanF said...

Cool. Some people hate mixed metaphors. Those don't bother me, it's obvious what the person mixing them means (OK, I, um, have been known to mix metaphors myself). But slightly esoteric words used opposite of their actual meaning drives me nuts. Each their own I reckon.

Stagflationary Mark said...


I see it more as an inside joke.

In case you missed it.

Crossing the S&P 500's Rubicon v.23

If nothing else, at least the timing was decent. :)

AllanF said...

Well, as I commented on that thread I didn't miss it. ;-) Just that in all the times you've used Rubicon you never let on you knew you were being sarcastic. Not that I expect a sarcasm alert every time (I don't, believe me one doesn't need considerable help spotting your sarcasm :-), but that you never used one with Rubicon was conspicuous as the dog that didn't bark. (Ha, is that a mixed metaphor? OK, not mixed, gratuitous. ;-)

Anyway, I reckon enough about this. People are going to think I am some kind of boring pedant. Or worse, a jerk attempting to correct a gracious host.

Stagflationary Mark said...


I have used the "sarcasm" label 613 times on this blog so far. That's roughly 50% of all posts. I'm amazed anyone can figure out what I really think. :)