The Sarcasm Report v.231

August 3, 2015
Mobius: Oil's fall is purely sentimental

"The price is purely sentimental. It has no real relationship to long-term supply and demand."

We've finally found an expert on the price of oil! Only an expert could make such a claim! Woohoo!

"Nobody is an expert on oil prices, not even the top people in the industry. I sit on boards of some of these oil companies and their predictions are way off."

Same guy said both things? What? I thought we just determined that we found an expert! Now I'm really confused. I'm going to need a prediction from somebody else or this entire article is just a huge waste of my time!

"Brent could drop back to its January low of $45, but that's the one final flush we get before prices move higher," Matt Smith, director of commodity research at ClipperData, told CNBC on Tuesday.

That's better! This guy really sounds like he knows what he's talking about.

Brent could drop back to $45 but then prices will move move higher. Got it. No, maybe I don't get it. Still confused.

1. If brent only falls to $45.01 will prices still move higher?
2. If so, to $45.02?
3. Or is higher relative to where oil is trading now?
4. What if oil rises to $90 instead of falling to $45?
5. Would prices move lower?
6. To $89.99?
7. Or even lower?
8. What about multiple moves both higher and lower?
9. What are the necessary conditions for that?
10. Does this oil expert questioning knob go to 11?
11. Can you believe that it does?
12. How about infinity?
13. Could we really ask that many questions?
14. Why can't I get a simple prediction on the future price of oil from an oil expert?
15. Why can't it be accurate enough to make a smart trade?
16. If such a prediction actually exists, then why isn't everyone using it?
17. Do oil predictions not have a long track record of success?
18. Wouldn't it make my life a lot easier just using someone else's predictions?
19. How selfless must these experts be to offer me theirs?
20. How do they get paid giving away free expert predictions?
21. Why am I suddenly reminded of card games and casinos?
22. What was so special about the number 21?
23. Thinking about infinity again?
24. Are we there yet?
25. ...