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The Onion: Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 4, 2015
Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22
Sometimes everything seems dark and without hope. When you begin feeling this way, it’s important to remember that these are the natural consequences of being realistic.
Leo "the lion" has nothing to worry about, assuming he hasn't been chasing too much meat just a few feet outside a protected game reserve and/or hasn't been chasing too much yield with his retirement account.
Thursday: Unemployment Claims
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[image: Mortgage Rates] Note: Mortgage rates are from MortgageNewsDaily.com
and are for top tier scenarios.
Mortgage rates as of Monday (a little lower on ...
4 hours ago
9 comments:
By the way she dresses and her shoes it is clear that at the very least Jannet Yellen is bifurcation curious.
By the way she keeps those short-term interest rate shoes moving, I can't help but think she's got a nasty case of tranche foot.
She should tranche coat it with something! Perhaps a thin film of noir?
Black widow peak markets?
Child's game involving popping bubbles: Peakaboo-boo.
What do you call the music when a woman sets incredibly attractive interest rates which lead men to apocalyptic destruction in the very last seconds of an opera?
A formidable Fed femme fatale finale!
It's not over until the well Fed woman sings!
But doktor! Your medicine. Must it be so big?
Hearts and kidneys are tinker toys! I am talking about the central banking system! - Dr. Frederick Frankenstein, Young Frankenstein (1974)
Oops. I meant central nervous system. Sorry about that.
At least we burn together.
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