Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Joke: How Many Nail Salons Does It Take to Fill a Strip Mall?

The following chart shows the number of nail salon employees. I have added two exponential trend lines for your consideration. Note how the first one in blue failed big time. Its replacement (in red) is a wonder to behold though!


Click to enlarge.

Feel free to pick your own punch line:

1. The sky's the limit! Sustainable 8.7% annual growth! Hurray!
2. I don't know. How many college graduates can work at a nail salon?
3. I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.
4. Don't let the terrorists win!
5. Before or after the strip mall bankruptcies?
6. Bastard! @#$% your rhetorical questions!
7. Holy @#$%! No wonder you're a permabear!
8. Silly question, idiot. Buy stocks for the long-term. No-brainer!
9. What does it matter? The joke's on all of us!
10. Fill in the blank: ______________________________



Quality high paying jobs! Prosperity, baby. That's what I'm talking about!

The sarcasm seems excessive again. If it's a bubble, I sure hope it doesn't pop!

As a side note, there's no way I'm going to apply the "humor" label to this post, at least not without a gallows disclaimer. Sigh. :(

Source Data:
BLS: CES Databases

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

When your only tool is a hammer, all problems look like (finger) nails.

With the labor participation rate at generational lows, perhaps people have nothing better to do than spend 40 hours a week getting their nails done?

Stagflationary Mark said...

Anonymous,

When your only tool is a hammer, all problems look like (finger) nails.

As a lover of puns, I may be a bit biased but...

Genius!

When your only tool is a hammer, all problems look like fingernails! That is just priceless on so many levels!

Welcome to our subungual hematoma economy!

Subungual Hematoma (Bleeding Under the Nail)

* Hitting your finger with a heavy object such as a hammer.

* A dark-colored discoloration (red, maroon, or purple-black) under all or part of the affected nail.

* Unless a subungual hematoma is very small, an affected nail will usually fall off on its own after several weeks because the pooled blood has separated it from its bed.

* If there has been injury to the nail bed and/or surrounding tissues, regrowth may be delayed.

Don't worry about it. It's dark pool'd blood!

Dark pools are an ominous-sounding term for private exchanges or forums for trading securities; unlike stock exchanges, dark pools are not accessible by the investing public.

And let's not forget that credit is the lifeblood of market economies. Bernanke said so himself!

Grand Unified Theory of Monetary Policy

Me only got hammer. Me hit fingernails until lifeblood dark pools. Nail fall off. Regrowth delayed. No work? Me hit next fingernail. Repeat.

See what you started? What a chain of pun events! Hahaha! :)

Stagflationary Mark said...

With the labor participation rate at generational lows, perhaps people have nothing better to do than spend 40 hours a week getting their nails done?

That's one theory. I'm sticking with the Nail Fairy theory though.

The Nail Fairy comes in each customer's bedroom every night and if there isn't a quarter under the pillow then...

Wabam! Hammer time! He then leaves a note on the bathroom mirror that reads, "Your nails don't look all that good. I strongly recommend that you come back to the salon soon and get them redone. It would be a shame if something happened to them again. Please enjoy 10% off your next visit."

The Nail Fairy also goes by the name Nick "The Hammer" Corleone. He knows how to make them a discount offer they can't refuse.

dd said...

It's way cheaper to get nails done now than 25 years ago when the manicurists were actually paid a living wage! Deflation lives!

Stagflationary Mark said...

dd,

If what you are saying is true, then there appears to be a glut of nail salon jobs out there. Come to think of it, I have been seeing more nail salons as I drive around. It may have even inspired me to look at the data.

Have no fear though! I think there is an easy solution to the problem.

We just need to add more nail salon jobs. More QE ought to do the trick!

Fight fire with fire I always say.

Got a fire in the kitchen? Don't reach for the fire extinguisher. Immediately light a backfire in the hallway to halt the original fire's advance. Basic skills, really. Everyone should know them.

dd said...

The nail salon phenon is totally a function of Vietnamese women who learned their skills from the French during the occupation and then found a whole new clientele when Americans (female soldiers) were in Vietnam and so the next generation of women came here and then the Chinese followed and brought manicure/pedicure deflation. Just have to talk to the manicurists!

Stagflationary Mark said...

dd,

Doing jobs *other* Americans don't want to do!

Hey, maybe we can import Chinese factory workers too? Or at least their robots?