Wednesday, July 29, 2015

The Rest of the Story: The Lion Hunter

Last year, a dentist from Minnesota was out hunting lions in Zimbabwe for sport and love play.

His guides lured a lion from a protected game reserve so that he could pretend to shoot it.

The dentist takes his first shot but misses. The lion rushes up to him and offers a deal. Drop to your knees and blow me. I'll let you live. The dentist obliges.

As the lion walks away satisfied, the dentist fires another arrow. The lion once again rushes back and offers the same deal yet again. The dentist obliges.

The lion, looking extremely satisfied at this point, prances away with a renewed sense of life. The dentist fires his third and last arrow at his target. It too misses. The lion, in utter amazement, rushes back to the dentist and asks a simple question, "You are not in this for the hunting, are you?" Oh, how they laughed as the dentist once again obliged him.

This year, armed with those same three arrows, the dentist, a lover of big game, returned to his favorite vacation getaway. Much to his horror, the first shot hits. Unfortunately, he's just an incredibly bad shot. He had no intention of harming the lion. That's why he tracked the wounded animal for 40 hours and severed its head, much like he's done in the past. For example, when something had gone seriously wrong on his college dates. It's just a horrible misunderstanding! A crime of passion!!

This is a fictional story. Any resemblance to actual dentists from Minnesota and actual lions from Zimbabwe is purely coincidental.

In all seriousness, am I being a hypocrite when I hunt big game hunters for sport? I don't even feel guilty. Why is that?


Tom Hickey said...

If you don't know, you are not being hypocritical. But the fact you don't know says a lot about you as a person. and your character to others.

Stagflationary Mark said...

Tom Hickey,

For what it is worth, I generally feel gulity for kicking a guy when he's down. This is not one of those times. Instead, I feel sorry that the lion apparently had to suffer for so long simply because some guy "needed" a trophy.

As an omnivore, I know animals suffer on my behalf. It might make me a hypocrite as well, but at least I don't take joy in their suffering.