The Sarcasm Report v.230

July 30, 2015
Dow briefly dips 100 points on earnings, US economic data

"Pick your poison but the Fed really is trying desperately for one if not two rate hikes."

Mother: Why won't you clean your room?
Daughter: Things keep coming up.
Mother: It's been almost a decade since you last cleaned it.
Daughter: I know but I haven't found the time.
Mother: How many times have you told me you would?
Daughter: About 50?
Mother: Janet Louise Yellen! Don't you be smart with me!
Daughter: Um, sorry mom.
Mother: You will clean this room today or you are grounded!
Daughter:  But mom!! I've been trying desperately to clean it one to two times all week!
Mother: Have you had full control over the cleaning process?
Daughter: Yes.
Mother: So what is stopping you?
Daughter: Market forces.