A Cynic's View of Tesla's Ludicrous Physics

July 17, 2015
Tesla Offers New ‘Ludicrous Mode’: Zero to 60 in 2.8 Seconds

Here is what we are told.

1. Tesla Chief Executive Officer Elon Musk introduced a new “Ludicrous Mode” for the dual-motor version of the Model S during a call on Friday, allowing the all-electric sedan to go from zero to 60 miles per hour in 2.8 seconds.

2. Ludicrous Mode “is an extension of Insane Mode,” Musk explained. With acceleration of 1.1 Gs, “it’s faster than falling.”

Here is what we know.

3. v = at.

4. g = 32.174 feet per second per second.

5. 1 mile = 5,280 feet.

6. 1 hour = 3,600 seconds.

7.  A car accelerating at g can go from zero to 60 mph in 2.735 seconds.

60 = 32.174 x 2.735 x 3600 / 5280

8. A car accelerating at 1.1g can go from zero to 60 mph in 2.486 seconds.

60 = 1.1 x 32.174 x 2.486 x 3600 / 5280

9. If it takes 2.8 seconds for a car to go from zero to 60 mph then it isn't accelerating faster than gravity, and therefore certainly cannot, on average, be accelerating at 1.1g.

10. In sharp contrast to creative accounting, creative physics can be very easy to spot for those who bother to look.

11. I must be cynical because when given the choice of trusting the numbers or verifying the numbers, I seem to always prefer the latter.

12. Oscar Wilde once wrote that a cynic is a man who knows the price of everything, and the value of nothing. I know the market price of Tesla's stock, but, for the life of me, I have no idea what its market value should really be.

13. Oscar Wilde also once wrote that a sentimentalist is a man who sees an absurd value in everything and doesn't know the market price of any single thing. One could easily imagine a scenario where many stock market mutual fund participants are sentimentalists. Heck, under the right conditions, they might not even know the market price of any single stock they own. What might those conditions be? 6+ years of ZIRP and a sentimental belief that the Fed has permanently put an end to recessions? Call me cynical, but that sounds just about right.