Jamie Dimon: The Important News of the Future Will Be Bad

July 14, 2015
Jamie Dimon: Don't read too much into this, but...

Dimon said he's not trying to avoid conference calls.

"Don't read anything into it," he said. "Obviously if anything is important I'm not going to avoid bad news here because we like to tell the whole truth, nothing but the truth, the good, bad and the ugly."

Psst... Jamie Dimon. If anything is important you're not going to avoid bad news. That's what you said. Your deflection strategy worked perfectly.

Well played, sir. I read nothing into your avoidance of conference calls as you had hoped. I was way too busy reading something into your important news will be bad comment. Hahaha! Sigh.

I do have two rhetorical questions for you though.

1. Was today's retail sales report important?
2. Was it bad?

Naughty report! Bad! Bad!