Saturday, July 4, 2015

Happy Dependence Day!

We depend on the Middle East to send us a never ending supply of cheap oil!

We depend on food stamps to help feed 45.6 million Americans!

We depend on an ever growing debt to keep this economy going!

We depend on the Fed to prevent economic bubbles from forming!

We depend on our weapons of mass destruction to stop other countries from using their weapons of mass destruction! So far, so good! Knock on wood.

We depend on the largest prison system in the world to protect pot-smoking Americans from themselves! And nothing says protection like a felony conviction with an ample jail sentence. That's just the kind of thing that employers want to see on a resume before deciding where the highest paying jobs will go!

We depend on peaceful cooperation within the halls of Congress to keep this country on the right path! The alternative would be a stalemate of dysfunctional proportions too horrific to imagine!

We depend on the Patriot Act to protect our freedoms! Yay! Freedoms!

We depend on torture (waterboarding) to stop the spread of terrorism! It's "bound" to work! Pun intended!

We depend on China to send us cheap hand-made fireworks so that we can really enjoy the spirit of the 4th of July!


In the United States, fireworks displays are a popular patriotic tradition on the Fourth of July, but almost all of the fireworks exploded in the US are hand-made in China.

But most of all, we depend on sarcasm to protect us from going stark raving mad. How much? We think it's a lot more than we think, lol. Sigh.

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