Wednesday, September 16, 2015

25 Things You May Have in Common with Janet Yellen

1. She is able to communicate using a voice box.
2. She walks fully upright. She does not slither along the floor.
3. She looks naked compared to other primates.
4. She has hands. She can grasp physical things.
5. She has a brain. It allows her to think she knows what she is doing.
6. She tends to wear clothes, but is not forced to do so.
7. She can control fire, but perhaps not a FIRE economy.
8. She can blush if overwhelmed with social anxiety.
9. She had a long childhood. 18 years, give or take.
10. She can survive long after having a child, unlike salmon.
11. If she puts a Q-Tip in her ear, then she must look at it afterwards.
12. If a waiter warns her that the plate is extremely hot, then she must immediately touch it to determine just how hot it really is.
13. Her best dancing moves come directly after stepping through an unexpected spider web.
14. She's squeezed a pimple before she knew it was ready.
15. She sounds out Wed-nes-day and Feb-ru-ary in her head every time she needs to spell them just so she'll never forget.
16. She wonders if she'll be thought of as a shoplifter if she exits a store without buying anything.
17. If she's wasted time reading 16 things in one of the many lists on the Internet, then she will continue reading anyway just to complete it.
18. When she looks in a mirror, she will often verify that nobody is behind her.
19. Although she doesn't believe that people can move things with their minds, she's tried to do it herself at least once.
20. When she's really, really tired, she's been known to tell herself repeatedly that she really should be going to sleep. However, she's just not sure that she has the energy to brush her teeth. And so she waits. This also might help explain why we've been trapped in ZIRP so long.

And here are five more things you may have in common.

September 16, 2015
You may have more in common with Janet Yellen than you think

No comments: