Tuesday, September 15, 2015

The Sarcasm Report v.243

March 26, 2014
Small, Frequent Meals Don't Rev Metabolism

Dieters are often told to eat small, frequent meals instead of two or three bigger meals a day to shed extra pounds, but eating this way does not boost metabolism and may increase diabetes and cardiovascular disease risk, researchers found.

December 16, 2014
Small, frequent meals are better for your metabolism

Big feasts and too many treats don’t just pack on extra pounds. Duke research finds that overeating can also change your metabolism – meaning how the cells in your body process the food you consume – and that can lead to chronic health problems including diabetes. Smaller, more frequent meals are optimal, the researchers say.

You heard it here first. If you wish to avoid diabetes then you should not eat small, frequent meals. You should eat small, frequent meals instead.

In related news, economists say that the Fed should not hike interest rates in September. The Fed should hike interest rates in September instead.


fudge_hend said...

To be fair it should be don't eat small, frequent meals you should eat smaller, more frequent meals. If you can't discern the difference what chance do you have to parse fedspeak.

Stagflationary Mark said...

Oh, that is rich. Nicely done. Hahaha!

Rob Dawg said...

Could you convert this to easy to count beer units please?

Stagflationary Mark said...


There are roughly 44 calories per 100ml of beer.

I suggest setting the IV drip at 3ml per minute. That should provide roughly 1900 calories per day. ;)

dearieme said...

There are two sorts of health advice: (i) governmental, and (ii) non-governmental. Type (i) is nearly always rubbish whereas Type (ii) is nearly always rubbish.

Stagflationary Mark said...


That certainly explains why, against my better judgment, I stick to the health advice that is nearly always rubbish. ;)