Astronomers Locate the Most Distant Galaxy!!

September 10, 2015
Astronomers Locate 'Most Distant Galaxy' in The Universe

Hurray! It's the most distant galaxy in the universe. We've finally found the edge! We now know how big the universe really is! This is an absolutely amazing discovery!! Why aren't more people talking about it?

EGS8p7 shattered the record for the farthest known galaxy, but it likely won’t stand for long. Astronomers are nearly positive that there are billions more galaxies that we still can’t observe with the technology we have available.

What? How could we have found the most distant galaxy in the universe if there are others even further away? This is a paradox of astronomical proportions!!

In other news, I'm happy to report that I just located the most distant dog toy in my current observable universe. It's a small blue spherical ball hanging out by our front door.

I'd get up to take a close picture of it for you but if I move closer to it then some other dog toy would become the most distant dog toy in my current observable universe.

I've also considered having one of our dogs bring the toy to me so that I could take a picture of it, but once again some other dog toy would become the most distant.

I could try moving all the dog toys to me and compressing them into a singularity. Would that work? They'd all be the closest and the most distant at the same time, and close enough to take a good picture.

On the other hand, I think that would defeat the purpose. As a scientific observer, I should really be looking for a solution that doesn't require me to alter the states of the dog toys. Further, the picture might not be all that impressive. A black hole that small might be very difficult to detect. I might need to light some candles to show some swirling gases rapidly orbiting the dog toy mass.

I do not yet have a solution for this dog toy paradox! It's very frustrating!!

Science and math are so hard. Fortunately, heckling is much easier. And for that, I am very grateful. Hahaha! :)