Friday, August 14, 2015

Quote of the Day

August 13, 2015
Missing Connecticut couple owes $2.2 million in debt

In November, a power company claimed Jeffrey owed $139,000 in unpaid electric fees for the same house, court records show. A judge ordered him to pay it back in weekly installments of $35.

Pay it back? Seriously? At $35 per week it would take 3,792 weeks to pay $139,000. The power company therefore better hope:

1. The couple is found.
2. At least one of them lives to the age of 131 or more.
3. There is no inflation over the next 76 years.
4. The judge will share what he's been smoking.

They are all longshots, but the safest bet is #4.


Stagflationary Mark said...

"If you do not bring $2.2 million in small unmarked debt bills to the local park at midnight then you will never see this couple again!"

WTF! The suitcase is filled with credit card bills! And all the names, addresses, and account numbers have been blacked out!! Oh, crap. Which one of you fools wrote the ransom note?! What exactly did it say?!

Mr Slippery said...

His company was called "J&J Refuse". I think he made his intentions clear regarding any future debt obligations.

Collector: Jeffrey, are you going to pay this bill?
Jeffrey: I refuse.

Stagflationary Mark said...

Mr Slippery,

I'd agree that the man's word was his junk bond, but talking trash can spew loads of garbage, especially a chatty 32 gallon one if we don't put a lid on it.

I'm sure Glad I don't have to be the bagholder here! ;)

Mr Slippery said...

After that pile of puns, you left me with scraps. There is no question that couple had Hefty debts, not so easily disposed. They tried covering the stench with lies-all.

Stagflationary Mark said...

Mr Slippery,


We are certainly building up a garbage collection of nonscents. It's such a waste of parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme.

Sue her? Can't even find her! Badum-ching.

If you find her then...

Tell her to find me an acre of land fill
Smelling of salt water due to seafood
Then she'll be a true love of mine