Thursday, August 20, 2015

Yellen's Top 10 Rate Hike Excuses

10. Our black spherical economic model says, "ASK AGAIN LATER".
9. Does not the deer know when to freeze when the headlights appear?
8. Abnormal is the new normal.
7. Rate hike lever lost in Great Recession perfect storm.
6. Dogs of the Dow ate homework.
5. Loose lips sink ships. Bits of careless talk are pieced together by the enemy.
4. 0.5% concentration might dissolve Emperor's new clothes. Seriously. Not joking.
3. China is not even remotely dishwasher safe!
2. Rates ARE razed.
1. Gentlemen, in exactly five days we will be 100 billion dollars richer.


fudge_hend said...

13. We've secretly replaced Janet Yellen with a can of FOLDgers crystals and let's see if anyone notices.
14. The rate will henceforth be reported in it's quantum state, therefore, while we can not know the magnitude, we assure you the momentum is going up.

Stagflationary Mark said...


You won me over with #11. Anything more is just a bonus! Hahaha! :)