Saturday, August 29, 2015

The Crock of @#$% Report v.028

August 28, 2015
Robots will steal our jobs, but they’ll give us new ones

But the one thing it doesn't do, says J.P. Gownder, an analyst with the Boston-based tech research firm Forrester, is steal jobs.

Robots will steal our jobs but the one thing they won't do is steal jobs.

This has got to go down as the easiest Crock of @#$% Report ever! Woohoo!

Gownder predicts that new automation will cause a net loss of only 9.1 million jobs by 2025.

I might be wrong when I call it a crock of @#$%, but my math indicates that 9.1 million is greater than zero. If so, then robots will be taking some jobs away. I know. Call me crazy.

Humans must build these machines and program them and repair them.

Build them? Hello? Automated factories?
Program them? Hello? Artificial intelligence?
Repair them? Hello? Field Repair Bot 74A?

I saved the best for last.

You're going to see doctors taking more of the role that involves the personal interaction with patients and less of the role of trying to keep huge amounts of evidence in there head.

First, you did not just say "there head" did you? Writers should keep "their heads" clear. I will be the first to admit that my grammar isn't always perfect, by any stretch of the imagination, but good grief. A robot would have never made that mistake. That makes it so much harder to believe what you say!

Second, I will eat my weight in gummy bears by day's end if the ultimate goal of hospitals and insurance companies is to turn highly compensated doctors into chat specialists. Put another way, I doubt very much that I will ever see "Extra Chatting" as an allowed charge on my insurance company's explanation of benefits.


Anonymous said...

Mark, Just dropping a line to say

1. You are one entertaining dude.
2. I feel your pain.

Oji (not Bill Clinton, or David Brooks, or Paul Krugman.. hope that narrows it down)

Stagflationary Mark said...

Oji? OJ Impson? Is that you? No, it can't be. If the "S" doesn't fit, I must acquit!

Your two kind!

That's Internet slang for either:

1. My grammar is crap and you are twice as kind as I would have expected.
2. My poker hand is crap but I'm about to lose to a pair of frickin' twos!

Your call. :)

Rob Dawg said...

80 ditch diggers or one bulldozer operator. Wait, automated bulldozer...

dearieme said...

Mark, you can automate the writing of your blog posts and we'll automate the writing of our comments.

Mr Slippery said...

Robots will replace about 9 million jobs and create about 10,000. Not a great trade if you are on the human side of the ledger. Creative destruction. The future of jobs is the history of agricultural jobs. They are mostly going away in the long run.

This should be good news. What we have to do is figure out how to slowly transition to the Star Trek economic universe, without killing each other. Everyone can't be a programmer.

Stagflationary Mark said...

Rob Dawg,

We'll still nerd a human to approve the loan to buy the bulldozer! Whew!

Wait, robosigner. Sigh.

Stagflationary Mark said...


What do you mean I can? I have!

Your Truly,
Field Blogger Stagflationary Mark Bot Model #JOT345-476

Stagflationary Mark said...

Mr Slippery,

Everyone diesn't neef to be a programmer. We'll still need lots of other jobs, like software engineers, lead software engineers, software engineer managers, lead programmers, and programmer managers. Tons 'o jobs!

Stagflationary Mark said...

P.S. And as for not killing each other, that's what the M-5 multitronic unit was designed for. Doctor Richard Daystrom for the win! ;)

dearieme said...

"turn highly compensated doctors into chat specialists": I'd reckon it a triumph if they could persuade doctors to stop obsessing at what's on their computer screen and look at the bloody patient. I suspect I could walk in minus an arm and he'd consult his screen to see how my cholesterol is doing.

Stagflationary Mark said...


Very amusing. I'll have you know that my new younger doctor gave the computer screen a thorough head-to-toe examnination during my last physical. I do believe the computer is 100% free of skin cancer. Me? Who knows?