Monday, May 2, 2016

We Are Being Deceived!

May 2, 2016
Starbucks iced coffee contains too much ice, not enough coffee, lawsuit claims

“In essence, Starbucks is advertising the size of its Cold Drink cups on its menu, rather than the amount of fluid a customer will receive when they purchase a Cold Drink — and deceiving its customers in the process,” the lawsuit states.

Let me get this straight. If I order a 24 ounce cup filled with an iced beverage, then the ice will actually displace some of the liquid, and I will therefore have less liquid?

What? Physics is crazy!! Why can't I have 24 ounces of ice and 24 ounces of liquid in my 24 ounce cup at the same time? Damn you Starbucks!

It gets even worse though, and I'm surprised that nobody is talking about it. If I order a 24 ounce iced beverage and let it sit out in the sun for a bit, my iced beverage becomes entirely liquid. No ice at all! I bought the ice so where is it?

What? Physics is crazy!! Why can't Starbucks sell me an iced beverage that stays iced? Damn you Starbucks!

I've tried everything I can think of to work around all these manufacturing defects, but enough is enough. Although I've never actually had an iced beverage at Starbucks, I need a lawyer too, for the emotional pain and suffering I'm experiencing right now, just thinking about it! Need proof? I mean, good grief, just look at that run-on sentence! I'm becoming emotionally unstable!

We're being deceived! Lawyers and tin foil hats are desperately needed!

Full disclosure: I have a vested interest in posting this. No, I do not own Starbucks stock. However, I definitely don't want to waste my time serving on this case's potential jury. Pretty darned sure I just took myself out of the running. ;)

1 comment:

Stagflationary Mark said...

I'm not a lawyer, but if I were then this would be my closing argument:

"In a world where people pay good money for free tap water in small plastic bottles, Starbucks is being sued for freezing that water and putting it in their drinks? Good luck on that."