Tuesday, August 4, 2015

The Fed's Piñata

August 4, 2015
Apple and interest rate jitters weigh on Wall Street

"The market is getting such a mixed bag of rhetoric from the Fed, it seems like the Fed isn't sure what it's going to do," said Jack Ablin, chief investment officer at BMO Private Bank in Chicago.

Silly Jack Albin. The Fed always knows exactly what it is going to do. That's why it inspires such confidence!

1. The Fed is going to have a meeting.
2. They will discuss the economy in great detail.
3. They will bring out the baseball bat.
4. One by one, they will place a blindfold on and start swinging.
5. Once the "mixed bag" piñata bull is hit, the candied rhetoric will rain down.
6. They'll eat the best bits, laugh a bit, and then put the rest in a press announcement.

You know, just like they always do. ;)


Rob Dawg said...

Apple was getting too big relative to the rest of my portfolio. Thanks Apple for fixing that without me having to do anything. Stocks go up and down. BFD.

The Fed is going to raise in December. They need to to preserve the illusion that they control rates. BFD.

Stagflationary Mark said...

Rob Dawg,

That's going to ruin one of my 5 predictions for 2015 (80% confidence). I need them to wait until 2016 before they raise rates. It's going to be a nail biter!

That said, raising rates a few weeks before Christmas could be just what the Fed needs to "prove" it has permanently put an end to recessions, lol. Sigh.