Thursday, August 6, 2015

The Crock of @#$% Report v.024

August 6, 2015
McDonald's cuts 225 jobs in push to revive business

NEW YORK (AP) -- McDonald's says it is cutting about 225 corporate jobs as part of a push intended to revitalize its flagging business.

1. I know this may seem hard to believe, but I have never picked a restaurant to dine at based on the number of employees it had at its corporate headquarters.

2. On the one hand, if the typical employee at its corporate headquarters is making bad decisions, then reducing the number of them could reduce the damage they are doing. I'll give you that. However, that in and of itself, cannot revitalize the flagging business. It would simply slow its decline into the abyss.

3. On the other hand, if the typical employee at its corporate headquarters is actually making good decisions, then reducing the number of them will also reduce the number of good decisions that are made. This would accelerate its decline into the abyss.

4. Has McDonald's not been paying attention to what that whiz kid genius Lampert over at Sears has been doing to revitalize its flagging business? It's starting to look like the same f%^king game plan!


Stagflationary Mark said...

Men, I know we're getting our @$$es kicked in this football game. In an effort to revitalize our flagging season, I'm benching most of you in the second half.

On defense, I'll be sending out just four of you. The other team will not be expecting that. We'll catch them totally by surprise.

As for offense, we'll be concentrating on our running game. I'll only be sending out the quarterback and the center. Once the ball is snapped, I want the center to get completely out of the way and let the quarterback take it from there. Run like the wind and don't stop until you get a touchdown!

Simplicity, baby. That's what I'm talking about.

dearieme said...

Some years ago I had lunch in a McDonald's. After mature reflection I decided I would never do so again.

Stagflationary Mark said...

If only you had tried the experimental McAsparagus burger, asparagus fries, with an asparagus shake! You'd be singing a different tube right now! Hahaha! ;)

Stagflationary Mark said...


dearieme said...

Actually, given my singing abilities, "tube" might be about right.

Stagflationary Mark said...


Just because I sing horribly, it does not necessarily mean that I'm tone deaf.

At least I can hear that I sing horribly, which might imply that my ears are just fine, lol. Sigh.