The Sarcasm Report v.232

August 10, 2015
Potential correction could be 'very rough': Siegel

1. "But the next six to eight weeks are going to be very rough."

2. "We might be forming a basis for a correction in the next five, six, seven weeks ahead of the Fed action."

3. However, Siegel discouraged investors from trying to time the market...

Mr. Siegel, first let me remind you that you are under oath. You are known for being nearly permanently optimistic on the stock market, are you not?

That is correct.

And yet you now claim there could potentially be a very rough correction in the next six to eight weeks?

That is correct.

Did you not also say that the correction could occur in the next five, six, or seven weeks?

That is correct.

Would it also be possible that it could happen in the next week, or in the next two, three, four, five, six, seven, or eight weeks?

Yes, it is possible.

What about weeks seven, eight, nine, ten, or eleven? Is that outside the realm of possibility? I remind you that you are under oath!

Yes, it is possible.

If it were to happen in the tenth, eleventh, twelfth, or thirteenth week would it surprise you?

No, it would not.

How about the twelfth, thirteenth, fourteenth, fifteenth, or even sixteenth week?

No, it would not surprise me.

Week seventeen? Surprise you?

No.

Is there actually any week that could surprise you?

No.

And why is that Mr. Siegel?

The only thing that can surprise me is a Great Recession.

The timing of it or the magnitude? Once again, you are under oath!

Both. *jury collectively gasps*

Would you therefore advise investors to attempt to time the market based on your expert testimony here today?

No, I would not.

No further questions your honor.